September 20, 2010

Hiya :)

Been so long....I've missed my blog!!

I totally forgot to bring my written journal with so I can't do back posts right now like I wanted. I'll just write a bit about what I remember instead.

So I finally moved out. I was very excited about this, for myself as well as Jess and Zak. The longer I stayed at their place, the more worried I was getting that it would ruin Jess and I's friendship. I wasn't like dragging people over and being obnoxious or anything like that and I was doing most the dishes and things, it's just when a couple gets their first apartment they need their own time, and space, you know? So this weighed on my shoulders a lot and I felt like my hands were tied. I could have tried harder for a job, I know I could have, but my social anxiety had me pretty much by the neck and made that very hard, and was pretty much crossing into agoraphobia for a while.

I was thrilled to find a cheap place to live and a job almost simultaneously. Was wonderful!! Jess was such a great help about moving me there. We managed to get everything into the car in one trip, even the dresser.

It was a little boring in my place at first, since I had no radio, tv or .net, but I already knew a few people in the building so I ended up doing the rounds saying hi etc. Only big thing that sucks is that everyone except one other girl, smokes cigs.... so I come back reeking now that I smell it so much more than when I was a smoker :( Good thing though is I can hang out with those who smoke without wanting to smoke myself. It's fun there with knowing so many people, there is always something going on, good or bad. I've helped a person move in, I've helped knock on doors when they were spraying apartments, I helped a friend clean hers up for a housing inspection, etc. It's just more...busy, lively? Never really a dull moment lol.

The job is going really well. I got complimented on how my floors look and how I bust my ass to mop every hall, dining area, nurse area, etc. every night and average buffing three halls a night. I love it because it's like exercise to me. Being paid to exercise! Four hours of mopping and sweeping. It's a total cardio workout :D Nights I do laundry can be a great workout as well, lifting loads up the stairs etc.

My spirits have been very high. My med combo is working so well it's amazing. I'm just not worrying and stressing and it seems to help everything else. I'm just about off Strattera now. It's turned out to be just as ugly coming off it as it was going on it. I was SO sick at work when it kicked in. I finished my shift but stayed home the next day. Would not be good to have a fall risk person at work! I was trembling, dizzy, nauseous, had a migraine and my stomach was just awful. In the end I was temporarily put back on it and dropped doses more and I'll be off it soon.

My new med, is amazing. My doc put me on Adderall just to see if it would get that part of the brain going that deals with concentration and focus. I was excited for something new but not getting my hopes up until I saw results. Well. There are results. I can focus a lot better...like being in a fog and then it's lifted. I hear more of what people say now so I can respond without having to ask for it to be repeated. It is noticeable for me at work, when having to remember things and find a person's name on a list etc. So it's really good :D

Dad and Grandma L. are coming for a visit next month! :D How exciting!! I miss the family SO damned much! Will be great to see them. I think my brother is looking at his work schedule as well, not sure if he'll get off or not. Would be wonderful as well!

I'll end this here for now. I'll probably do those two line posts from the phone when things happen like painting etc. When I can I'll get properly online. I've went through my friends blogs, and facebook and my email, etc. So now I'm at least temporarily caught up :)

-M

1 comment:

tanty said...

I am so glad you finally got your own place,regardless how you got there.It's funny how unpredictably we get from one point to another, but the main thing is you got there.Timing can be everything and for you it has served you better than you think.
I am really pleased you can hang around smokers and still not smoke,that would be a shame if you started again,after all you tried and succeeded to stop.It is funny hey, how you are losing weight and being paid for it,no gym fees for you,lol.I bet you can't wait to see family,it has been more than a year for you,i can almost see tears in that reunion.
Good luck with the new meds, i hope they keep helping you focus and concentrate for as long as you are on them.It will be great to see you back online abit more regularly.