March 28, 2012


*115 Days*

So much to do......bleh!

I have a whopping list of things to do the next few days. From the mundane (dishes, laundry, chores) to the more interesting (hanging things on the walls, putting new cabinet together for in the bathroom, hanging new towel racks, organizing the closets and cupboards) and ultimately the exciting (painting the apartment!!!). I'm notorious for having a lot to do and no motivation to do it, so I am taking my time, doing one task at a time, not looking at all that needs to be done, keeping from making it overwhelming and doing nothing.

Still using The Beast (elliptical) every day. Down five pounds now (yay) and hoping for more. My eating has been pretty good. Robin used my scale in the bathroom and was upset at what she saw, so she's on board with the healthier eating. We do a lot of lean meats and salads and whole grain rice/noodles/bread. Once a week we get to have something bad, as it keeps the whole crashing off the diet urges away. I'm gotten my soda intake down to one a day or less, which is a huge improvement over the many I was drinking a day. Eventually I want the soda to be a once or twice a week thing.

My sleep schedule has been a nightmare.... I don't think I'm getting depressed again, yet I'm sleeping way too much. I've gotten myself in a bad cycle of going to bed late and getting up ridiculously late and then being tired all day. I've yet to find a way to crack it, I try to set the alarm for early and shut it off while half asleep. I feel like I'm wasting a whole day away every day. My anxiety has been rocky, but I think at least some of it is tied to my weight and self image at the moment. I'm feeling very self conscious about all the weight I have on me, now that I can't hide it behind hoodies, as it's gotten too warm for it. I'm trying to turn some of that into motivation to keep using The Beast daily. But it is messing with my ability to leave the house and I feel anxious now when going places and its starting to feel like I'm taking some steps backwards. It is very frustrating.

Complete with this a funny picture of Sara getting a bath....she was starting to get that dog smell really badly.... funny thing was, I think she knew it too. Normally she has to be carried into the tub for a bath, but this time when she realized it was bath time, she jumped right into the tub with her tail wagging LOL. The funniest part was when it was over and she got out and she did the typical shake thing they do, to get the water off....holy crap...water everywhere! :P

Hope everyone is doing well,

March 21, 2012

Busy Days

Been busy the last couple days. The big event was Robin and I putting the elliptical together. What a project that turned out to be! Yet, it wasn't as bad as I feared it could be. We figure it took about four hours all up to get it assembled. In the middle of it, we had to make two runs for tools, in particular for a second allenwrench. At two different times we both had to turn ends of something at the same time, yet they only gave us one tool.....grrrrrrr. We had to lift the ends of the base unit twice, and many of the large parts we had to lift into place and hold while the other screwed things together weighed over 50 pounds each, so we got a workout putting it together. There were parts that had to be greased too, which was more gross than anything. We did well with the electrical components, having to thread the wires through the arms, base and top for the sensors and computer, no electric shocks...yay. We were so excited when it was done and we turned it on and it worked! Robin has been sore since then, as she has had surgery on a tendon in her arm/elbow and the heavy pieces aggravated it, but she said it will be okay in a couple days.

Since then I have started a workout routine I do daily. I'm doing a little more than I had planned to do starting off, but it is going really well. My knees are a ad sore, but I expected that as the muscles around them are so weak and I have a lot of weight on them right now. It will ease as I go along. I've been getting a great cardio workout on it and I'm gonna have killer legs after a while :D

Went grocery shopping for healthy stuff, lots of veggies, fruits, lean meats and whole grains. Setting up an eating thing I refuse to give up is my I just watch how much I have. Took out all the soda from my diet, as I was drinking it like more fast food, eating out, junk food, fried food, etc. so far so good!

I'm hoping next week we will be painting in here, the owner is letting me do it (she normally won't let anyone) after seeing the medium beige color I picked out. It will look really nice in here, very zen like :)

Will probably post more in here later, gotta go get on "the beast" (the elliptical lol).


March 17, 2012

The day of...... retail therapy ;)

Today was a great day. I'd been planning it for a while now and I was really looking forward to it. There aren't that many stores here in town, so my friend Robin and I drove down to a city about forty minutes away, to do some shopping.

It was funny, because she was just as excited as I was. As usual, I kept hitting the snooze button on the alarm this morning ( I hate mornings...) and finally she called to wake me up. I was all groggy and half awake and here she was on the phone, going a mile a minute, cracked out on a whole pot of coffee, going lets goooooooooooooooo gogogogogogogogo LOL. It was just too funny. So I finally dragged my butt out of bed and got ready.

The main reason for going down there was for me to find either an exercise bike or an elliptical, because my weight has really gotten out of hand. No exercise + bad food choices + meds had all equaled in me gaining over twenty pounds since I first moved to town. I've gotten to the point where I knew it was time to do something about it, as it has been making me feel just SO self conscious and it's been pulling down my self esteem and I've started to get pretty critical of myself again. I'd talked about it with Dr. G. and he was like it won't go away on it's own, you have to MAKE it happen....and he's right. It's time to combat it full on, no more excuses. I have to put in the work to see a change.

So off we went. It's definitely spring, as there was roadkill everywhere on the highway down :( We lost count after a while.... We got into the city and the first place we went is to the mall. I had hinted about finding a Bath and Body Works, because I really like their soaps and candles, so we just had to go. I haven't been to that store in a long time and it's one of those where everything smells so good you just want to buy it all. They had some great deals going on so we both ended up walking out with a couple candles and many bottles of the wonderful smelling hand soaps. The have these neat little containers now, that you slip over the bottles, that are metal with designs on them, so I got two of them, as I will have one hand soap in the bathroom and one in the kitchen :)

After that we went to JCPenny. She looked at some tops and I found a bedspread set for my bed....finally. I've been using random sheets and a quilt since the fire. The set is a nice combo of purples and a bit of pink and I got a window valance and an accent pillow to match. It didn't come with sheets, so I found a nice set of purple sheets to go with it. It all looks really nice :)

Finding the elliptical was challenging. We went a few places and they all had models out on the floor but none in stock and all on back order. I was getting pretty frustrated, because I don't want to wait weeks or months for something on back order, and I didn't want to buy one online because I like to know how they fit and feel first, especially because buying one is expensive, like an investment really, so I wanted to know it was right for me. In the end we found a sporting goods store that had one in that I really liked when I tried it out. I was so happy! I made sure to buy an extended warranty on it, in case there is any issues with it.

Getting it home....proved to frankly, be a pain in the ass! The guys at the store had us pull the truck right up to the dock so at least it was easy to get in the bed of the pickup. The weight on the box said 268 pounds! On our drive back we were trying to figure out how the hell we were gonna get it up to my apartment, figuring it's about 23 steps from the security door to my apartment. We made calls and asked around and in the end we ended up in luck. We know the guy that owns the tattoo shop next to where Robin works and he was like sure...I'll help. Then he got a look at the weight and was like......shit.... LOL. He proved just how awesome he is, but calling three of his buddies and having them meet us all by my place. It took some time, a lot of strategic lifting, teamwork and a LOT of muscle, but they managed to get it all the way up to my apartment. They looked half dead after though! And they wouldn't take any money for doing it. I tried, but they are just nice guys and were like no no, it's okay. I thanked them, profusely....

Taking it out of the box became another challenge..... It was just me then and everything went well at first, I got all the different large pieces out (the dude at the store greatly under exaggerated just how many parts were gonna have to be put together...) and I had packing materials EVERYWHERE. When I got to the main frame and wheel that were already together, I could not get it out of the box. Just guessing, that one part probably weighs around 180 least. I ripped the side off the box, thinking I could slide it out, and still no luck at all. The neighbor next to me is handy in times like this, so I went out into the hall to go knock on his door and sure enough he was just coming out of his. He was happy to help, to my relief. Between the two of us we got it out of the box and positioned where I wanted it at. He also helped get all the packing materials back in the box and we slid it down the stairs (the box was so big I could have laid down in it and still had room....) and slowly dragged it out back by the dumpster. At least it was out of my livingroom!

I'm waiting until Sunday, when Robin can come over and we are going to put it together. It requires two people for assembly and we also need a couple tools that don't come with the kit. Plus it looks sooooooooooooooooooo complicated..... it should be very interesting!

I'm pretty much winding down from the day now, which has taken forever and now it's early morning, but I think I'll sleep really well. I'm glad I had a long day out, even if I was really self conscious. Still fighting the whole agoraphobia thing every day.....

Hope everyone else had a good day :)


The guys working hard to get the elliptical up the stairs.....

What my elliptical will look like once it is assembled

The new bed set............. very pretty purple :)

March 13, 2012


Just posting a pic of what we made last was sooooo good!

March 10, 2012

Blah blah blah

Hangin out at Robin's today while she is at work, since there is Internet here...
Catching up with stuff online. Sorting through my emails, blogging, posting on the MB, etc.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

March 9, 2012


A fellow blogger posted about a plush friend she has and's sort of similar to my Siz.... So I'm posting a pic of him here so she can see. I think they are long lost cousins :p

March 7, 2012


Every so often leading up to the Games, I'll probably put a post up about a gymnast here and there, just highlighting certain things as it gets closer.

Posting this video because it's amazing....

This is Beth Tweddle (aged 26 which is ancient in elite gymn) doing her best event, bars, at the English Championships that were just held in England. As far as I know, this is the single hardest bars routine being done by a female gymnastics competitor in contention for the Olympics. She connects almost every hard skill together into another (connecting big skills gives bonus points) and she finishes it off with a new (and harder) double double dismount.

If she can just pull this all together during the games, she'd easily make it to the bar final, if not win a medal. She's been doing crazy hard bars for years, yet has problems doing it well sometimes in competitions....would love to see her do it like this at the Olympics!



I would flee SO fast you'd never see me pass by lol

Interesting yet freaky story:

Tracey....they are all yours!!!

(at smoke shop)
(customer comes in)
R: Hello
Customer: Hi, How are you?
R: Shitastic!
Customer: What?
R: Oh, nothing.....


Things are still going good. Sort of been addicted to Netflix lately.... Watched the entire series of Rescue Me and the seasons they have of Shameless (UK version). Then got sucked in to The Wonder Years which I've now finished. All these shows were really good. Not sure what I will watch next.

The Elite Artistic Gymnastic season has kicked off as well, which (to me) is always exciting, especially because this is an Olympic year. There are only 5 spots on this years Olympic team, vs. six and seven like their used to be so the battle for those spots will be intense, and some who deserve to go are going to have their dreams crushed. To add to that battle is the fact that most of the women that were on the team in Beijing are trying to come back and there are many newer seniors that are trying to get on that team that did really amazing at the last World's going to get really interesting....

There is an article in the paper today about getting prepared for storm season. The above average temps mean severe weather season has started early. This year, since I can afford it, I'm getting a handheld scanner so I can not only listen to the weather band but I can listen to the fire/police bands too. Still need to come up with a plan of what to do if the sirens go off, since I live in one of the older buildings in town (between 90 and 120 yrs. old)...

I still haven't decided if I am going to Illinois for Easter yet, depends on how I'm feeling and whether I'm up to traveling or not and what I have going on around that time. I have some time to decide yet.

I'm writing this at the smoke shop and I just watched two male geniuses knock over two standing cigar display cases...... "i didn't even touch those!"......right.....trying not to laugh.....

R is doing really good and not believing a word her shitty ex writes from prison. The last time he called she yelled at him for things and told him it was over. She also had his name taken off the lease on the apartment so now it is hers only....yay!

That's it for now, will write more later,

March 2, 2012


*89 Days*

Things have been going pretty good lately, the Lithium is doing it's job. My moods have been really good, although my anxiety has been acting up some. Nothing I can't handle though. I've found that I've had some issues with motivation, not that it is anything new really, just maybe a little bit more of a problem with it than before. And the meds sometimes really knock me out and I sleep a lot longer than I'd like. Still, things are so much better than they used to be.

I got two things in the mail the other day, that I'd been waiting on. It was cool to have them arrive at the same time! One was a series of zines from a fellow blogger, that I'd been really curious to read and look forward to reading now that I have them.

The other is the new Elton John Aids Foundation candle called Sir Elton John's Woodside Garden. I debated with myself as to whether I'd open it or leave it closed for my collection. In the end curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. The candle is in a glass, so I figure once I burn down the candle I still have the glass to use as I wish. Of course, I kept the box, as it is pretty elaborate and looks very nice atop my computer desk :) The scent is amazing. It really smells like springtime in a box. It has the scents of hyacinth, freesia, rose and jasmine in it. When I burn it, this apartment smells wonderful.

The weather has continued to be very strange here. One day it's in the 60's and the next it's friggin snowing. I'm starting to get the feeling we may not have that big snowstorm everyone keeps saying we will get eventually. We even had a bit of a thunderstorm the other day.... It has to be confusing the plants, trees and animals.....

That's all for now, I hope everyone is doing well,