December 26, 2015


Hope everyone in the Dallas area is okay. Freaky weather this year.


Drinking Two... Then Taking A Big Break From Booze

I'm drinking two of these Four Loko things tonight, they are 12% alcohol and I should be rather shitfaced. Enjoying while I can. Goddamnit the Whole30 starts tomorrow, I'm sick of pushing it off. I don't need any more alcohol. The only reason I am drinking is because I can't do anything else and to me that isn't really acceptable. If I can go a couple months it would be great.
Bottoms up, then clean up!

Interesting Movies

I watched We Were Soldiers earlier, now I'm watching Rescue Dawn and you know...
I wasn't born yet when the Vietnam War was going on. I don't agree with why the US entered that war and the extreme amount of loss of life, but I give those soldiers credit. They were some brave motherfuckers. I'd be absolutely terrified. The unwavering bravery shown by troops is amazing. It's such a shame they had to die but they sure died fighting.
Lots of love to all the vets,

Personality Test Thingy

The other day I took a personality test thingy online with some friends. It turned out to be very interesting. Here were my results, which are fairly accurate:

If you want to try it out, go here:

Just something fun to do ;)

December 22, 2015

In The Mood To Write

I get in these moods on and off, where I want to write. Not blogs, but stories. I don't really show them to anyone, they are just mine. To tinker with and write whatever comes into my head. Tonight, is one of those nights :D


Walking. Just walking. One step in front of the other. The white line on the side of the highway my guide. Just keep going. Cars come and go, yet no one stops. No one cares, so I keep going....
It’s a little chilly, maybe 45 degrees. The mist and sprinkles make it feel colder. A dampness that won’t go away. It seeps into your skin, making you that little bit colder, shaking just a little bit more.....


December 17, 2015


Getting closer to Christmas (and my birthday). This year feels like it went SO fast. It's almost next year already! Next week I'll be 37, which I'm not to bothered about. I feel young most days, at least on the good days. Plenty of those around lately.
I've been in a better/up (but not too up) mood now for close to a year! To me that is amazing. The meds are definitely doing their job and I to mine by trying to eat healthy, exercise and treat myself well. Anxiety was probably my biggest issue in 2015. Better than last year, when it was my BPD. That affects me and everyone around me.

Today was a good day. I did a fair bit of walking outside. The temperature is been so off lately, way too warm for November and December. The nice thing about this is that I've been able to walk outside longer instead of resorting to my elliptical, which is good, yet boring.

I did a lot of housework and I made some salmon patties to freeze for dinners. I looooooooooooooooooooove salmon patties. Mine are weird though. I use sweet potato mixed in and I coat them in ground corn with ground peppercorn. They are REALLY good that way. You should try it. Unless you are vegaetarian or vegan ;)

I'm now video chatting with a good friend and jamming to Elton :D

December 15, 2015


Well I see the debate is going over well lol. I really think all of them need meds. Hell I'll donate mine if they'd take them! Scary those people want to run the country, just really scary...

Nice Memories

So, I was sitting with my neighbor and chatting about random things. Somehow we got on the subject of the St. Louis Arch. She said she was too afraid to go up in it and it looked scary and did it sway, etc etc...
A memory, like a photograph, came into my mind. Then another. And another.
I believe it was 1995 or 1996. I was in high school and living at home with my father in Milwaukee. It was summer time and with it, came our yearly summer vacation. That year we went to Memphis to see Graceland and we stopped in St. Louis to see the arch. If I remember right, it was me, Dad, my brother, four of my cousins, an aunt, an uncle and my grandfather.
I remember how intimidating the arch looked from the ground. I couldn't believe we were going to actually go IN that thing. But we did. There are two elevators in the arch, one on each side. They work like a pulley system, when one is going up, the other is going down. We managed to stuff all of us into the elevator (more like a pod with seats) for the ride up. There was a window on this pod, so you could see the inside staircase on the way up. Lots of stairs! We all joked and laughed as our ears popped and the stairs were going past faster.
It's amazingly small inside the arch. When you get off of the elevator you are at the top. It opens to a small room with carpeted seats on both sides and small windows you can see out of. I'd never been that high up before so I was blown away by how small everything looked on the ground. You could see the Mississippi River and the little boat restaurants along the shore. Even a McDonald's. On the other side you could see the city of St. Louis. There was a ballpark nearby but I forget if it was the Rams or the Cardinals. It looked... small. Busses looked like little legos and people were more like moving dots. It was so neat.
That was such a fun vacation. Myself and my cousins were still teenagers, my brother was like ten. My grandfather was still alive and making all his jokes. His laugh was hilarious, you couldn't not laugh when hearing it.
By the time I told my neighbor all I remembered (and that you cannot feel it sway) I think she's convinced she wants to try it now. I think she'd really like the view :D

December 13, 2015

My Sleepy Girl...

My sleepy Bronte girl... She's too cute for words. I'm so grateful I have her <3 br="">

El Nino Weather?

It has been warmer and way wetter than normal here in NW Missouri. We were in drought... not sure we are any more. Thankfully it's been too warm for snow, or this latest round could have brought over a foot of snow to us, according to the NWS. I'll take the rain!
Also, our current rain storm looks like the continent of

BPD Thought For Today...

Fuckin oath.

Few Pics...

First one.... the accident:
A pic for Tracey... our weird "winter" rainfall...
venting via my written journal. The negative thoughts must go somewhere...

Bit Of Booze...

'Tis the season eh?

Listening to a live Elton concert, drinking crap alcohol and  chatting about serious woman's issues with an Australian friend of mine. Sounds like the perfect night for me...and it is! Listening to Elton live in Cleveland from a few years it.
Fun times!

Audio of Live In Cleveland from Elton John:


Thank fuck they won! I have that NFL mobile so I'll watch it tomorrow morning :D
Woohoo #gopackgo

Another Season :D

Thrilled to hear there will be yet another season of my favorite Aussie show, Bondi Rescue. Can't believe it's been that long now!

For those who have never seen it, you can find many seasons on Youtube. It's worth watching :D

Elton On Today Show :D

68 and still working his ass off :) I have a friend going to one of his Australia shows, I'm soooooo jealous!

Anyhow here's the link:

Drinking & Cooking Don't Always Mix...

I had a little adventure the other day...
I was drinking the last of the wine in the fridge, jamming out to Elton and starting to make my dinner. I had one corn muffin left I had froze, so I took it out to let it thaw. I tried to cut it in two...and ended up almost taking my finger tip off.
Hey at least it didn't hurt, the wine took care of that lol!
So I had to call a good friend to take me to the ER since nothing else was open. The doc and I agreed I was his easiest patient of the night. Lots of joking with the nurses too :D

It didn't quite make it to the bone but was very close. I knew I needed it looked at because I could see the fatty tissue below the skin. Such a small cut but deep.

In the end I didn't get a stitch, though we laughed about it. He cleaned it thoroughly (which kinda sucked). The doctor used Dermabond topical skin adhesive to seal it up.  It is supposed to stay on there for five to ten days and come off on it's own. Pretty cool!

I had to get a tetanus shot since I haven't had one in like ten years. I think my arm hurts more from that shot than my finger does... Trying to be careful, bumped the finger a few times and yeehaw... then it fucking hurts!

I'm glad I went in, don't want an infection, that would really hurt.

Updating Blogger

Over a year ago, I switched my blog over to Wordpress. It was okay but I missed Blogger. So, I spent this morning moving posts over here. Thankfully there weren't like a hundred of them...
I'm happy to be back on Blogger though I've had two irritations already. The first, is the fact the Ipad App hasn't been updated in a couple years. I can't post, it crashes every time I hit the Publish button. It could be a great app if they would just fix it. There were tons of comments in the app store about it not working right.
The other thing is that I can't seem to get the rest of my caught up posts to show on the main page of my blog. You have to click "older" to get to them. Kind of annoying...

Hopefully it will sort itself out.

Blogger App

It's pretty bad. I tried to use it on my Ipad and it just kept crashing. No updates since 2013 :(

Good Tips

Will Catch Up Later

blogger is freaking because i added so many posts lol...